I need some advice, won’t dive completely into it on the public forum but i’ll give you the gist of what’s been going on. Basically my dad is always finding something wrong with what I do. If he’s feeling good he’ll be nice to me but usually we just don’t get along. Whenever i’m pissed at him he tries to tell me he loves me and tries to ask me a bunch of dumbass questions just to be annoying. Whenever I try to ignore him or give him close ended answers, he persists. He’ll also mock my mom if he gets mad, and other childish shit like that. He gets angry very easily too. I ask that you please take this seriously, no jokes. I would go to another site to ask for advice but a lot of you guys are like brothers to me. Please PM me or leave a comment below if you can help with some advice as to what I should do or say. Thank You
Edit; In case any of you were wondering, i’m 15
Is it bad? When he abuses your mom? (Verbally) like has it ever gotten out of hand
Not necessarily, they fight sometimes as most couples do, he definitely instigates it most of the time
All you can do is approach him like a man and ask him to do the same. And hash that shit out. Maybe not now. But at some point.
You can’t get anywhere until you get on the same level.
First come to an agreement, then come to an understanding.
Sounds like your dad might have some anger issues. But if he tries to talk to you when your angry, he’s trying to be better.
Also 15 is a tough age, your still a kid but almost a man.
Does he have any issues with alcohol or anything else? That sounds like an inner case of depression that he deals with by being condescending to people he cares about. It’s common. Especially in mid life years
He has a pretty big whiskey collection but I wouldn’t call him an alcoholic
His dad left when he was around 18 btw. He was a really good swimmer (made it to the olympic trials before his dad left).
I mean you get one set of parents, once they’re gone, they’re gone for good. You gotta understand everybody got their own personal demons they’re fighting. It’s up to you be understanding and understand they’re flawed humans, nobody’s perfect.
I don’t know your pops, but it sounds like there is something bothering him that you may not know about. Parents have issues with one another that they don’t necessarily want their child/ern to know about. If your mom is easier to talk to and you trust her, start there first. Maybe she can help with some answers.
If that doesn’t help I suggest writing your feelings down and any questions that you have for your pops. Give him suggestions on how you would like for y’all’s relationship to be and what you expect. Mention that you notice that something is bothering him, but be respectful. Dads and men in general have egos and with you being 15 he may not be open to taking advice.
Good luck and I hope that you guys have a much better relationship some day. It’s hard when you don’t think that your pops is treating your mom with the proper respect. Even more than when he trips on you.
If he doesn’t take me seriously, what should I do?
He’ll take you seriously as long as you approach him seriously. Let him know from the jump that this is putting a strain on you and that you want a great relationship with him where understanding and respect goes both ways.
I don’t know your dad’s sense of humor, but my pops is a smart ass and it’s just his personality and people had to learn to not take it personal and I’m very similar. My kids know this and are similar as well and we’re basically a family of assholes, but my wife is very sensitive, so we are more careful about what we say to her. Understanding one another is where it all begins.
Once you and your dad know one another better and understand the dynamics of your relationship it will get better. Find something that you both have an interest in and build a relationship through that.
I have different things in common with all of my children and that’s why we’re so close. I support their dreams because it’s their’s. My kids have to live their lives and not necessarily the one that I want them to have. People need the freedom to live and learn from their decisions. This is what makes us, us and what living life is all about.
That goes for you understanding your dad’s side as well. I come from a rough childhood, but it made me determined to be a better parent. Not everyone can deal with that and be stronger, some use it as a crutch to be similar. Hopefully your dad is strong enough to be the dad that you want, but if not still learn from him and be the dad that you always wanted to your children one day.
I hope that I helped you out and good luck with everything. I’m pulling for your dad to be the dad that you deserve in the end. It’s hard when he may need understanding and someone to listen to his problems as well. Men just aren’t generally good at sharing and better at burying.
This is great advice. Thank you for taking time out of your night to help me. I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow.
I would want someone to do the same for my son, so it’s my pleasure.