After 3 days, I was finally able to redeem KD from the auction house. Who’s pumped to give 2k their money for 2k20? All I’m saying is, don’t expect anything better—go in with your eyes open.
When Durant isn’t making burner accounts to feud with 14 year olds on Twitter, he’s getting buckets. Man was averaging 30 in the playoffs before his Achilles popped. And he flashes all NBA second team defense with elite length, lateral quickness, and surprising skill at blocking shots. Many have been waiting for this card as the ultimate end game SF.
This review is salty. True OKC fan here. But the assessment of the card will be facts—Big Salty Facts. Let’s talk about the Darantula. The 7 ft Jack Skellington in Nikes with an adolescent goatee and a strange preference to be listed at 6’9”. Dude it’s fucking obvious you’re 7 ft, okay?
Known to many as the Snake. Aka Cupcake. For brevity, I’ll be referring to him as the Cupkek Snek. The man who looked Russ right in the eye at dinner and told him “I’m staying” before proceeding to join the 70 win team that he just choked away a 3-1 series lead to. And later tried to deny the details of how it went down. When asked why Durant denied the reports of his broken promise to Westbrook, Kendrick Perkins (close friend and confidant) replied: “KD trippin. Those are true facts.” Burn.
Great player. Elite player. Weakest decision ever made by a superstar. Big salty facts.
Now that the salt is out of the way, let’s talk about the card:
Badging:
Truly elite. Every HOF shooting badge. EVERY HOF defensive badge except chasedown (gold). That’s right—has the combo of rim and pick pocket. Has a good complement of playmaking badges including HOF ankle biter and the rare HOF breakstarter (looking like one of the rarest in the game). He only needs to have bruiser and brick wall added to be complete.
Defense:
Snek got some respect put on his name here. Badges as mentioned above.
97 lateral quickness. 85 stength. 88 post D IQ. Overall an outstanding perimeter defender but can be post spun or drop stepped by elite 3s and 4s.
Release:
Godly. Speaking in tongues and falling down while the spirit moves you Godly. Still dresses up to go to church Godly. Standing release is quick, smooth, and highly GREEN BEANABLE. He’s bringing GREEN BEAN casserole to Sunday potluck every Sunday. Form is similar to Brandon Ingram. Timing and ease of greenability similar to GO Karl Malone. Moving release is a straight pull-up to the left and smooth. Moving shot to the right has a slight lean/fade and is smooth. His sprinting step back shots (R stick down while sprinting) have accepted Jesus and are SAVED. Sprinting stepback to the left creates huge space and slightly fades back with a little one leg action (not as one legged as Dirk). Sprinting step back to the right is a two legged gather that creates a country fucking mile of space. Combined, his various releases are this cards greatest asset.
Post:
Simple post fade is good and can register as open against off ball. Highly greenable. Post hop shots are trash—slow and create minimal space. Doesn’t seem to be able to hop shot cheese to 3 point line. Post game is a definite weakness and against elite defense will be limited to the occasional fader.
Dribbles:
A slow, looping, rhythmic dribbler who can get significant lateral space with his simple two and 3 dribble combos. Dribbles overall are NOT QUICK. Running behind the back is trash and useless. Running cross does not create elite motion but is fast—can beat offball if you wait until close to defender to trigger. Can spam Shammgods. Sizeup is only decent—mostly a series of crossovers with some lateral motion. Has the most simple type of momentum spin—can simply go into the spin animation directly after the momentum cross, but cannot do a behind the back while spinning (ie cannot do the Steezo).
Overall not an elite dribbler. Big salty facts.
Y’all should know there are levels to the momentum spin:
- Can’t do it
- Can only do a simple spin but cannot combine with behind the back. Examples—Durant and Simmons
- Can spin and also combine with Behind the back, but not as cheesy as the Steezo. Examples—James Worthy, CWebb
- The Steezo—spin makes player run backwards directly away from basket, then behind the back causes a glitchy rapid turn straight towards the basket, typically ending up right at the 3 point line. Examples—Harden, Kawhi. Arenas.
Slashing/Dunks:
Excellent euro and layup packages. Dunk animations seem pretty quick for the most part and are not easily blocked. Great overall slasher due to his length/player model.
Overall rating and recommendations:
End game SF. If you were waiting for this card as undisputed best SF in the game, prepare for disappointment. He has competition in Bird, Worthy, and PG13.
OP animations:
Standing release
Sprinting stepback jumpers
Hop shots (not post hops)
Usable animations:
Simple post fade
Sizeup
Trash animations:
Running behind the back
Post hops
Players commonly run at SF who possibly are better (or at least equal to) than Cupkek Snek:
Bird
Melo
Worthy
Kawhi
PG13
Overall a godly shooter and moving shooter with only average post and dribble animations. Good perimeter defender and average post defender (among opal SFs). Big salty facts again—shit’s getting thirsty. Not worth his current price of 450k unless you want to lock for another token opal.
