Sorry to hear how rough it’s been. Idk what you did, but no one is perfect. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you haven’t been suspended then it couldn’t have been that bad. The mods here are pretty direct and quick to find resolution on issues. Best of luck.
Bro thank you for admitting this so now we know you aren’t just a craphead, got some life stuff goin on. I hope you can solve whatever problem you have, and once you are feelings peaceful you can make a return