I was 6 years old. My grandmother brought us some delicious cheese from her town. I wanted more but my mom said that I had enough.
Later during the night, while my parents were sleeping, I go downstairs to get some of that cheese. But it was pretty hard to cut a slice so I took the big knife.
I cut my finger and bleed all over the cheese, ruining it. I pretend nothing happened and go back to sleep with a shirt tied around my hand. Next day, my parents obviously caught me but they considered that the cut I got was enough. I still got the scar today
Tore my meniscus clean in half because I tripped over my dog. Was trying to cross the street at a quick jog when she ran in front of me.
Tore my labrum in two places, snapped my coracoid process (bone that connects bicep to shoulder) and tore my rotator cuff benching about 300 on the decline press. Didn’t have a spotter and on the third rep halfway up my shoulder literally exploded.
Broke my big toe running up the stairs and missed a step and it just snapped back
Broke my hand a second time running down the stairs (hit the back of it on a door frame)
I have others but those are just dumb and not funny or sad
Broke my hand and missed work for 2 months arguing with an ex. One of those dumb arguments where they threaten to go home at 2AM even tho she didn’t drive, it lasted for almost an hour before I flipped out and punched the wall on the side of her about 10 times